Back when I was a student of Andrew’s, in Marin and in the early days in Foxhollow, there was a young man who was also a student of Andrew’s, who was a leader among the formal men. He had a strong character, and he was devoted to Andrew. He was a natural leader in our meetings. I realize now that on a few occasions he treated some of us badly, undoubtedly on Andrew’s instruction. But overall, he was a good leader, and we all looked up to him.
And then one day, as happened to so many leaders in our community, he disappeared. He was still there, but we didn’t see him anymore, and the word was he had been challenged and was facing into something. And then, we formal men were brought to meet him. He was lying in a bed, a playboy magazine on a table by his bedside as well as a glass of liquor, implements Andrew had put there as a teaching device whose purpose I couldn’t guess
This man, my brother in the teachings, lay stretched out on the bed devastated. He had a soft smile on his face, but he was transformed, he was not the strong man I knew before. The closest I’d ever seen to such a transformation was due to a physical illness, when my father had cancer of the brain and was completely changed from the strong independent man he was before.
I was so disturbed at what had happened to him, that when I saw Andrew in the kitchen, I walked up to him and asked him, “What happened to ---------?” In those days I almost never spoke to Andrew, I was too intimidated by him. So that’s an indication of how disturbing this event was for me, that I would dare to approach Andrew without even making an appointment and question him. Andrew turned towards me and said, “Ego, ego, ego!” and then he walked away. Soon afterwards, my friend left the community.
Years later, after I was no longer a student of Andrew’s, I found out what had happened from the website WhatEnlightenment.blogspot.com. Today, among the long list of abuses Andrew inflicted on his students, is the following:
“Ordering a student who is a physician to simulate the amputation of the finger of another student who had sworn, under pressure, that he would cut off his finger if he failed to complete a writing project. This simulation included full preparation of the student for the amputation by the doctor and the doctor’s readying of surgical knives and only ceased just before actual amputation. As a result, the student was emotionally traumatized and soon thereafter fled Cohen's residential center, Foxhollow.”
A while ago in a conversation over Skype, I asked Andrew why he did this. He admitted it was a mistake, it was meant as a teaching device, and he just didn't know any better back then.
This is the man some of you here want to see in a position to teach again. Why? It’s not a matter of forgiving Andrew. It’s not a matter of denying he can change. I wish he would change. I wish he would take responsibility for his actions, and work to do what he can to mend the relations with those he’s abused. But that is irrelevant to the question here. Someone can develop, change, and become a more humble person without becoming a spiritual teacher. And someone who’s used their teaching position to do the things Andrew has done (of which the example I give here is one among so very many) should never teach again, ever.
The best thing Andrew could do to show he’s changed is to renounce his role as a spiritual teacher and authority forever. It’s the only thing he can do, if he wishes to convince me he truly regrets the damage he did to my friend and to so many others.
No comments:
Post a Comment