Who is Andrew?

Andrew had a talent for inspiring both himself and us to conceive of the perfect human being. Not perfect in body or perfect in mind, but pure in intention, what a human being ought to be. He encouraged all of us to stretch, to imagine what was possible. Then he dared us to imagine it really was possible. Then he dared us to believe it was him.

And as he dared us, so he dared himself. He denied himself, he discovered a way to run away from himself, from the neurotic weak fellow he despised. He denied everything in himself but that perfect individual he dared us to believe in.

But of course the problem was denying that person in his mind didn’t actually make it go away in reality. All those neurosis, all those doubts were still there. And the more he worked to deny them, the more empowered they became.

And now, after more than 20 years of running, it’s all fallen apart, and he has to find himself again. Underneath all the ideas underneath all the denials, who is Andrew? Where is the person he was before he thought he was enlightened? For the first time, I think I might understand why it’s taking him so long; he has to find himself after hiding from himself for over 20 years. For the first time, I feel at least some sympathy for him.

And I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. First I was awed by Andrew, the great and powerful, and I was scared by him, and I tried to submit to him. Then, when I realized he broke his word, I became angry with him, and I defied him. Only now has it begun to occur to me to wonder, who is the man behind the curtain?